I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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