talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
