U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
