She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
