Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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