More tranny stories later!
My hand turned me down
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize