Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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