69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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