Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
