me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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