I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
