he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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