I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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