i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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