is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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