When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
