I could make wine with my vomit
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
