And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
