The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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