something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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