Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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