He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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