God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
