How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
