ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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