I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
