1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
