As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
