Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
