My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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