his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
