i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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