But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Come see our sink grown plant.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
