He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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