guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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