I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
