That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
