is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
