when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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