take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just want nice things and good sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
