is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
