i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
