i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
