Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
