he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
