I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
