you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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