if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
