Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
