Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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