I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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