that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
