i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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