Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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