OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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