I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The power of my boobs compel you
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
