I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
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