You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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