If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
