That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
